by Peggy Rice
The ministry of Fresh Hope for Mental Health is based on 7 Recovery Principles (originally called Tenets). When we read them in our Support Group, the first paragraph is for those who have a diagnosis, the second paragraph is for the loved ones, and we all read the third paragraph and Bible verse, out loud. Here’s Number 7:
TENET VII
At times, my mental health challenge has caused me to focus only on myself and my needs, leading me to believe the lie that I don’t have much to offer to others. Therefore, because focusing on others will help me grow, I choose to give back, sharing my story with others, that my past pain might provide insights for someone else’s journey to living well.
I, too, have become focused on my loved one’s situation and how it has affected me. I can easily become so consumed by our issues that I fail to see those around me who would benefit from what I’ve learned. Therefore, I choose to give back by seeking opportunities to help others by sharing my insights and experiences.
Together we recognize that sharing helps both us and others heal. Sharing helps us find our voice and becomes empowering as we see our pain redeemed by the Lord. As we share, it helps reaffirm our own hope while also giving hope away to others.
“(The Lord) helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.” — 2 Corinthians 1:4 (Good News Translation)
This is the last of the Recovery Principles, and maybe that’s because it’s kind of like a final step.
Now don’t get me wrong – these Tenets are not designed as stepping stones. It’s not the same format as, say AA, where you complete Step One, then move on to Step Two, complete it and move to Step Three, etc. No, these are all different understandings about living with a mental health challenge – either personally, or loving someone who does – and Fresh Hope encourages us to work on one, or several, or all of them, in our journey to living a healthy life while walking the mental health path.
But to me, there’s something special about Tenet 7. It’s almost as if a person on a mental health journey needs to be far enough down the path to even realize that there are others in the world! Let me explain.
When I went through my 10+ years’ journey with severe depression and anxiety, there were times when I was unaware that my behaviors, moods, thoughts and actions were affecting others. Some call it “navel-gazing,” or selfish, and I supposed it is. Maybe living with a mental health challenge, particularly in its darkest times, is by nature self-focused. I mean, just dealing with the lack of desire to get out of bed, let alone engage with people in the workplace, was exhausting, and sometimes impossible. This is true for anxiety, too. When my brain was spinning with fear and worry and stress, it was very hard to see anyone around me, because I was so lost in my own thoughts.
But:
As I began to get better, and began to lift my head and look around and see the people in my life, I realized that there was more to this mental health journey than just me.
And:
I remembered that, in some of my darkest days, I had begged God to not waste my experience. That somehow, some way, He would use my mental health struggles for my good and His glory.
Then:
God brought me to Fresh Hope, where I found a place that I could live my honest mental health journey, and it was a safe place to share my story. No one judged me – they actually understood, because they had lived a mental health challenge themselves. I was able to open up, find comfort and encouragement. I became braver, sharing more, offering insights from my own experience with others who were going through tough times. Not as advice, but as my own story: “When I went through something similar, this is what I did.” And others did the same for me. So together we grew and learned and were affirmed.
That’s what I mean when I say it’s like a final step. In the depths of my own depression and anxiety, I was too self-consumed to see others around me who were hurting, or needed encouragement. I probably wasn’t able to live out Tenet 7. I wasn’t well enough.
But neither did I have to be completely well to begin to practice Tenet 7. Just well enough to be able to see others in my life.
There are many verses in God’s Word that deal with this idea of giving back. Of course, the verse right under Tenet VII above, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
But other verses talk about how we, as members of the Body of Christ, can help each other. (italics mine)
Matthew 10:8 – “Freely you have received; freely give.”
Galatians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Romans 15:1-2 – “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”
Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
I Thessalonians 5:11a – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…”
Hebrews 10:24-25 – “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 3:13a – “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’…”
Romans 15:4-5 – “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had…”
Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Proverbs 12:25 – “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”
I know personally, I have grown and healed in my mental health journey, as I have shared my story and served others in the world of mental health. I’ve had opportunities through Fresh Hope, but there are so many ways to give back.
I recently learned of an old friend who started an organization called The Little Heart Project – they crochet small hearts and attach hopeful and encouraging messages and leave them all over the world (!), as a way to prevent suicide, “one crocheted heart at a time.” I have another friend who teaches other women about who God says we are in Him, among other topics (does anyone else journal?), at various women’s events. My dearest friend is always making meals for someone – either in her church, or someone she met at the gym – just whoever has a need.
What if you’re not ready to talk to people yet? Well, what about walking dogs at the local animal shelter? Or volunteering for a shift at the local food bank, just taking supplies off the truck and organizing them for the pantries?
What can YOU do, to give back, even in the current mental health place you are in – right now? Do you trust that God will lead you to more ways to reach out, eventually to share your story, as you are able? Ask Him. He’ll lead you, as He equips you.
Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.
