Somatic mysticism, diet and returning to my ancestry….
The hungry ghosts know. Listen.
I like using “somatic mysticism” to explain my experience because I feel everything deeply in my body. I can feel my cells doing their work quite often and I feel all manner of metabolic movement and I feel far more than I can even begin to really know from a biological standpoint. Still when I listen and pay attention I collect data, information to act on. With this info I continue to heal and become (consciously) one with all that is.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “What we most need to do is to hear within us the sounds of the Earth crying.”
And yes, I hear the earth and all it’s sentient beings as well as the plants and all that is animated. I feel it all…and am only just beginning to discern my intelligent and grounded place in the midst of it all.
The brain injury that bared my nervous system made it impossible for me to do anything but feel it all and figure out how to navigate it…thus the gift in that which almost killed me.
I always loved food and cooking and then food/and substances (herbs etc) became my main vehicle into union…it’s been fascinating. I can feel what every food does in my body.
Psychiatry would call the vehicle an eating disorder…but it was life-force asking me to pay attention. Awesomeness.
The reason it would be called a disorder is because it involved having to eliminate many foods in order to hear anything at all since my nervous system was shattered to oblivion from the psych meds. Paying attention meant removing as much stimulation as possible (every food was a stimulus early on. Too much info to take in and negotiate) so, I had to start from as blank a slate as possible. Of course a blank slate is not possible in our modern world where we are bombarded with all manner of stimulation 24/7…so getting it as quiet as possible and only taking in the stimulation that would help me heal was of critical importance.
Once discernment became possible I could add back foods and i have.
Healing at this point, plain and simple is response to that which is. If our bodies are screaming then that is what we must respond to. Emergencies always deserve priority.
so, yes,
After many years of extreme food and chemical sensitivities, my body now knows how to get appropriate nutrition. Pretty cool. Good news is I can eat everything again. I need to pay attention to my body as to when which remains very important…healing is constant change in this body.
I don’t really use supplements (nutritional isolates or soft pharma) anymore…except for some minerals … most of my mineral needs are provided for by shilajit though…I got to where my body rejects isolates … still tolerate some amino acids, too I guess.
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2025 — this was first written in 2020 I do use supplements again now and I did a stint with some hardcore pharma for the “lyme” disease and the associated multiple co-infections. I am nothing if not pragmatic. I do what is necessary. Most people who have long-standing systemic microbiome issues of this sort will be on antibiotics and antiparasite drugs for lyme for 4 or 5 years. I did a very spotty off and on year and a half. I did not tolerate them as prescribed so I did not take them as prescribed. They did, however, help a lot for the time I did them and then I went back to herbs. I wrote this piece prior to finally getting a lyme doctor who believed what I was saying. Lyme doctors are like all other doctors and very much into whatever trips they’re into. My doctor fired me after a bit but I got the couple years worth of pharma that I needed and moved on.
Cow milk is still out (lactose free cheeses have since become very helpful. Goat, cow and sheep) and I no longer eat meat either and really needed it for a good long time (this also changed. Lots of collagen building animal and plant foods became critical once I really started moving out the infection)
I wanted to be a vegan because it’s the only way our species can be sustainable and kind, both. I am grateful that after ten years of studying food and mindfully eating everything that went into my body I’ve learned to navigate the transition. (this continues to move back and forth and I am in surrender to life force which knows much more than I do)
In any case, I eat anything that I want /need…so cool.
Gluten too!!! Coming back to my Mediterranean roots has been downright profound. Hello bread and pasta!! Wonderful prebiotics my gut LOVES. Oh my god. I spent 11 years not eating any gluten. (and it made sense at first…that’s the thing…I needed to quiet down the chaos and elimination was critically important. Knowing when to add things back in is the part that is missing in much of the health fads out there. 2025 ~~ I still take long breaks from grains and then there are times my body really needs them.
Coming back into my ancestral diet has coincided with deep ancestral work on the psycho-spiritual level.
I love how my story connects all this stuff in my healing process. It makes an otherwise very painful and difficult process not at all devoid of joy and wonder.
To be clear most of what I eat is whole real food.
The most processed food I eat is the bread and pasta which is still a fine Italian durum semolina. I eat good food and I don’t eat chemical additives. This is because they truly make me sick. I can feel them in my body.
2025 ~~ when the detox really started up again with the added pharma for the multiple systemic microbiome issues I actually did some eating that I called “retoxification.” As the biofilms from my entire life came down my body needed foods from my childhood including and, most especially, sometimes, some of the toxic junk I ate as a kid (think Doritos, diet coke and jello with red die). It helped the biofilm break down. Yeah. Trippy. And totally necessary. I was lucky to have read Stephen Buhner’s book on preparing to water fast where he talked about eating anything you “craved.”
I wouldn’t call these cravings in the normal sense.
For me it’ s been a profound and mindful process of hearing the body and learning how these toxic biofilms form and take over the body.
There is nothing that is appropriate at all times. I may go without eating any grains for weeks at a time and then when it’s time I enjoy the heck out of pasta or popcorn or whatever else I need. There is nothing I simply say never again to in the way of food anymore. My body knows. The health gurus and doctors and naturopaths etc do not know what my body needs. Only my body can share that with me and it’s always changing depending on what is going on both within and without.
Being awake isn’t about being perfect or all-knowing. It’s about simply being who we are with total and deep acceptance, while we fulfill our role in the unfolding drama of humanity. You got that right. The drama doesn’t end…we simply get to watch it in awareness. And yeah, sometimes, we still get to play the idiot and the fool. Now we can just enjoy it and learn from it rather than judge ourselves for it.
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The hungry ghosts know. Listen.
first posted 2020
- More on Somatic imperative: collection
- More on the microbiome
- More on diet
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