Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! by Anonymous
To every dipshit paid to block the exits in full tactical gear at the grocery store: please, for your own sake, quit your job. You look like assholes, kitted out like Proud Boys who think Al Qaeda is gonna jump them in the produce section. We simply cannot normalize ringing up our groceries at gunpoint when there are thugs dressed just like you disappearing people off the street and selling them to El Salvador every day. Expect more hostile customer interactions than the store has ever had- when you dress like you’re looking for a fight, people will take you up on that.
Yes, rent is impossible and the job market is ass right now. But every piss-stained junkie you throw out of the store for trying to lift $ 5 trail mix has more dignity than you by virtue of not being a willing clown of fascist security theatre. If you’re that desperate for money, put on a pup mask and go work the boulevard- at least sex workers recognize that they’re selling their bodies! You’d look a lot cuter in heels anyway.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.
