by Peggy Rice, Hope Coach Trainer for Fresh Hope
I lay face-down on the massage table, and settle my head into the round pad. I feel the tears come, as if the change in my position brings them forward; I try to squeeze them back. This massage is only ½ hour long – I don’t have time to deal with all of these emotions coming to the surface.
The massage is #5 of 6 – ½ hour each to help relieve the spasm and tension that has been my left shoulder-blade’s constant companion for months. Weeks of physical therapy brought no relief. Nor did dry-needling nor trigger point injections. Chiropractic is already a regular part of my routine, but it’s not going to do anything to fix the damage to my cervical vertebrae – stenosis, arthritis, degenerative disc disease. That’s one cause for the tears – the pain, and the realization that pain management is all I can do.
A second cause for tears? Saying good-bye to my son after his visit over the holiday weekend. I love him (and his sister) so much, but he lives in IL, while I’m in CO. We just don’t get to see him often enough! Will I ever not cry when saying good-bye to family?
Third reason for tears – recalling two years ago today, when my daughter and son-in-law got married. (Happy anniversary!) The memories are beautiful – the day was beautiful – the bride was beautiful! Such a special celebration, and I wish we lived closer to them so that we could reminisce in person, and go through the photo albums together. But again, they live across the country, and visits just aren’t as frequent as I’d like.
More thoughts that bring tears: my aging parents, and living far from them, and from my sister and her family; the possibility of rehoming our cats; the frustration at not knowing the summer’s details; the reduction in medication that I’ve been on for 14 years. Given that last one, of course I’m sad! The psych nurse said to give myself a full two weeks on the new dose before I decide if I should even be coming off the med. I’ve been on it for so long, it’s going to take a while for my body to adjust to the new levels. Gotta cut myself some slack – it’s only been 5 days.
So, as I lay here, and I fight the tears, and the memories, and the feeling-sorry-for-myself, I cry out to God. “Please, Lord, don’t let me cry in front of my massage therapist! Help me replace these sad thoughts.” And immediately, the word GRATITUTDE comes to mind.
“Yes, Lord.” And I begin to count my blessings. Face down on the table, waiting for her to come in. The result is peace, and joy, and thanksgiving.
I’m thankful for my family. I’m thankful for financial resources. I’m thankful for the brief relief I’ll feel as the therapist digs into the knots in my back and stretches my neck. I’m thankful for my home. For my new exercise routine. For finding new friends. For the opportunity to serve in ministry. Before I know it, the tears are gone, and my heart is full.
And then I remember what I often share in our Fresh Hope Support Group: the brain can’t hold gratitude thoughts and depression thoughts at the same time. Our brains can only concentrate on one thought in any given moment. So when I focused on grateful thoughts, those seemed to override the sad thoughts that were swirling though my brain.
A little Google search reveals that there are contradictory viewpoints on this – maybe we can have two thoughts at once. But I would argue that one thought is going to rise above the other(s) and be more prominent. Hence, only one thought at a time. So, gratitude can override sadness, if only for a moment.
Philippians 4:8 NIV says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Isaiah 26:3, NIV: “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”
Want to know what to think about? Think about God! About who He is, His character, His attributes. Think about Jesus, and the love He showed to all those He encountered while He was here on earth. Think about Jesus’ gift of salvation: His death, burial, and resurrection, so that we can be restored into a right relationship with God. Think about the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of the Risen Christ (Romans 8:11) – living in us as Jesus’ followers, a gift sent to us directly from God, to help us as we journey this earth.
The same process holds true for anxious thoughts. They can be replaced with thankful ones, and while you’re thinking about blessings and expressing gratitude, the anxiety will momentarily step aside. Keep practicing, and keep the anxious thoughts away!
This is hard, though. I won’t pretend otherwise. Again, as I sometimes describe it in our Fresh Hope Support Group, the negative thoughts (sad, or anxious ones) form a kind of groove in our brains. Like a well-worn path. And, like a tire on a Conestoga wagon, our thoughts want to drop right into that rut of thinking. It’s easy, to fall into that old pattern. It takes effort – real conscious energy – to try to step out of that groove and start forming a new path. It takes practice, and repetition. And time.
I attest to the fact that the habit of practicing gratitude works. And the more I do it, the more quickly it is effective.
I encourage you…give it a try. The next time you realize that you’re thinking anxious or depressive thoughts – when you catch yourself – ask God to help you think of things to thank Him for. He will. He helps us do what He asks us to do. So when His Word tells us, like above, to think on Him and on good things, He’ll help us do that!
Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.
