Territory || PMC Week 4
Image by Mr. Pebb
Stock Shot | Forza Horizon 4 | Other Entries:
www.flickr.com/photos/pebb/43082802330/in/dateposted/
www.flickr.com/photos/pebb/30013815307/in/dateposted/
_____________
[Message]
Sorry for not being that busy on Flickr & FM.net recently. Some days I just don’t want to get out of bed for two reasons.
#1 || Only having three to four months of money left due to how the job search has been gone. Plus it doesn’t help that basic retail jobs can’t be secured by me.
#2 || Feeling I am past my prime since I struggle to get each update finished in an acceptable time frame. I am even so self-critictal of myself in such a way. It can be diffcult for me to make some ideas or layouts work. Sure I could use similar layouts used by some other members. Or even recyle previous layouts from years ago on a regular basis.
But since I charise good composition from anyone who is willing to put the extra effort into their shots. It gets frustating if multiple ideas from me have to be binned by myself after looking at the shots a few times. Or a few don’t go down as well, when compared to my old shots from FM4-FM6 & FH2-FH3.
[The Future]
Sure photomode can still be enjoyed by me. But with how my father acts in certain situations, looks and talks about me as if he wanted me to be more like him. And lastly how he won’t give me a decent connection. It all blends together that it affects me, which in turn me one thing as been on my mind in the past few months.
If the self-critical part of me feels my shots are slowly degrading and not improving over time. Maybe making FH4 my last Forza could be best for my mind in the long term.
It would be diffcult, since I have met some wonderful people online and a few offline. Even it’s been good fun seeing how much Forza’s photomode has improved, sure I still feel it needs to be rebuilt from the ground up for FM8, so it doesn’t fall behind the competition.
But in the end. If I don’t have the same motativation I once had. Having less games to focus on would be better once FM8 releases. Now would a return be on the cards once FM9 releases.
Maybe. But like with every community or sport in the world. Letting the next generation take over or be the main focus is for the better. And if I didn’t return, there is of course other photomodes for me to use.
Right what could of changed my mind about my life, how secure my future is and what I enjoy. If my short YouTube adventure worked out and a good amount of money was coming it. Then I wouldn’t need to work in retail again, because something enjoyed by me would be a source of income.
Or if the lottery was won by me. Not only would I be one of the most grateful winners, but my long term security would be secure.
—-
[Final Thoughts]
Sorry for being so negative about my life. And if anyone unfollows me because of my views in this upload all I can say is this.
It’s been fun knowing you online also I won’t hold a grudge against you.
Anyway with that all said. Have a good November everyone.
[Final Words – Added 18:58]
One thing that has affected my mind set overr the years was losing a long time friend on PSN who blocked me. I would like to play with him again since he felt like a brother to me.
Shame that one of his XBL friends who moved to PS3 followed by PS4 couldn’t become unbitter about past discussions on XBL back in the R6: Vegas days on Xbox 360.
Sure the person who added me got over such a discussion. But after one fateful night in 2014 or late 2015. Something happened as if he let his friend thoughts cloud his mind.
I know both have hearts. Just a shame how it happened. It got so bad I even lost other friends on PSN from it. There could be a few reasons. Maybe they had their reasons to block me, maybe I am a toxic person. Or maybe something else resulted in them looking at my messages in another way.
