I went through something terrible and it changed me forever.
As some of you may know, a few months ago our family, (along with others) went through a devastating experience.
Parent’s at our daughter’s school were given an option to exclude Erin from her class photo.
To some, it was just a photograph. But to us, it was a real and significant reminder of the battles that we fight every single day for our daughter to be seen, included and respected.
I went through something terrible and it changed me forever.
When I saw this quote shared on Facebook today, it hit a chord. Because I realised that indeed although some months have past, the scar is still closing. In fact, we are very much still grieving from this experience.
Harder than the incident itself, it was the aftermath that was the most distressing.
The ensuing media storm.
Having to manage other people’s anger (instead of our own).
Managing other people’s ignorance (from adults that should, frankly, know and do better).
All while fighting to protect those that failed to protect and stand up for our family.
Then there was the day that my daughter opened hate mail delivered to our house from school…
Why?
Because we chose to respond to something terrible, and that never should have happened, with truth, respect and positive advocacy.
But we live in an inclusive society, right?
Quite fascinating in some ways really.
There are many learning lessons from this experience (which I’ll likely share in due course) that we’ve been integrating. And there are definitely positives that I’ll share too, but the reality is, this experience has forced us to face a difficult and uncomfortable truth that still hurts.
While people may appear to be supportive behind the scenes, it takes a certain amount of strength to put your head above the parapet and stand bravely along families like ours. I’m so grateful to each and every wonderful human (friend or stranger) that did so during this time.
One thing I can take away, is that no matter how difficult this period has been, I would do it again 10x over. One stranger reached out thanking me for using my voice to protect children like hers, and I told her that I would take 100 arrows in my back for her child or for mine, or yours in fact.
The thing is, we should never have had to speak up in the first place. We have are navigating enough.
What people don’t see are the conversations, the legalities, the never ending battles, and frankly the constant disappointments for Erin to have access to what she should be able to take for granted. Being included in a class photo, isn’t something I imagined having to speak up for.
And the sad thing is, we often resign ourselves, let it go, choose not to fight “that” fight, and accept that this is what life looks like for her and our family.
The truth is, my time is precious and best served taking care of my daughter. I shouldn’t have to spend these endless hours educating myself in law, educating professionals, or fighting for access to an education that is her right, never mind simply being allowed to be seen next to her peers.
Don’t underestimate the cost of an experience like this on a child or a family. This experience broke me. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. In fact, I’m really proud I survived it, with my dignity in tact.
Yes I’m still bleeding, but I’m brave enough to face the raw, terrible and painful truth face on, and keep going anyway.
I’m listening Erin. And will do whatever it takes. Onwards and Upwards.
N x
The post I went through something terrible appeared first on Rainbows and Lighthouses.
