Kids don’t want to do chores and resist chore time when these habits are going on in the home. Let’s get those kids to cooperate!
If you’ve got little ones making messes, then you need little ones picking those messes up.
Sure, you may have some kids who:
- escape to the bathroom during chores
- whine and fuss and avoid the work
- start serious power struggles
But the good news is this: if you eliminate a lot of the barriers I mention in this video and in this post, your kids will get on their way to being chore machines.
You don’t ask your kids to do chores OFTEN enough
If it’s only random or occasional requests to do chores, they won’t get used to them.
When kids feel it’s Out Of The Blue and not that often, it feels like a big imposition. Kids will feel like chores are YOUR job and that you’re “asking them for help.”
- ask regularly (daily, weekly at a minimum).
- don’t phrase it like a question, it’s not a choice.
- let them get to the point of Chore Saturation so they just get on with it.
Nothing happens if kids refuse to do chores.
If nothing happens when kids refuse… they’ll continue to refuse.
Chores are non-negotiable and the kids don’t get to choose. Now, they may choose when or how, but if you are requiring them to help out then that’s that.
Bake a consequence into the rule.
It may be something like “chores and then screen time.” Which also means “no chores = no screen time.”
Think through what will be the consequence and attach it to the rule. This will prevent you from trying to think of a lot of random consequences any time you meet resistance.
Not having the right tools.
If you want chores to be painless for the kids, make sure you have everything you need within reach.
- nontoxic cleaning products
- mops, brooms, stools, etc.
- cleaning caddies
- things put where kids can reach
Organizing your cleaning supplies and making sure kids feel empowered and knowledgeable about how to use them go a long way. Kids will get familiar with the tools. They’ll know which products do what.
And this will help them take ownership.
50+ Life Skills (By Age!)
Check off critical household, social, and hygiene skills for your child so they’re prepared (not petrified) of growing up!
There’s no carrot to doing the chores.
Our kids’ days need to be organized for cooperation.
This means you don’t let them do Super Fun things they don’t want to stop BEFORE their jobs.
For example.
You wouldn’t let a child play on a device before they’ve done their chores. Screens should always be given AFTER responsibilities are taken care of.
- order work before play
- choose a time to do chores before something fun (like snacks or meals)
- having a regular time of tidy routines or doing a sweep before going somewhere fun so they are motivated.
It’s gotten too overwhelming and it’s too much.
If your child’s room is too messy to even start, that will make it seem insurmountable to your child.
Avoid overwhelm by staying on top of things regularly.
- do daily tidying routines along with your child
- institute an evening sweep
- have kids clean up after independent play daily
- do one thing before another (aka clean up before fun stuff)
Chores should be routine.
Chores should be a routine part of family life for your kids. The more often you do it, the less resistance they will have.
You can do this, mama!
Kids need to be taught, in-depth, how to do chores. I like the gradual release of responsibility approach where the parent starts by modeling how to do the chore, then the child does guided practice where they’re doing the chore with support from their parent, and then they can do it independently when the parent is confident that they can do so. Using this approach ensures that they can do the chore confidently and by themselves.
The first few times do the chore alongside them, then let them try while you offer gentle guidance. Overall, encourage effort over perfection and offer regular check ins to praise their work and offer feedback so they know how to do the chores well.
The post Chore Barriers… These 6 Things Make Kids Resist Chores appeared first on Mother U.
