One summer morning, during my usual early run, I noticed my neighbor’s garden decked out with cheerful balloons, colorful streamers, and a
‘Happy Birthday’ banner!
It was their birthday, and their family had quietly snuck out to decorate the garden as a surprise. It probably didn’t take long to do, but it created a memorable surprise to celebrate their special day.
The garden surprise stayed with me, not just because it was a happy scene, but because it highlights an issue adults with ADHD often ask about me:
“How do I prioritize my family when I usually put work first because work is where I feel competent, appreciated, and respected?”
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
Why Work Often Wins Attention for ADHD Brains
For many ADHDers (but not everyone), work can be a rewarding and energizing environment. A perfect combination of stimulation and structure that the ADHD brain thrives on.
For example
- You find enjoyment and flow in tasks that feel meaningful to you.
- You receive immediate feedback and praise from your boss, colleagues, or clients.
- There are clear goals and deadlines, which boost your motivation
- You experience a sense of achievement as progress on projects are advanced or completed
- You feel appreciated and valued for your contributions
- All of this helps to build and reinforce your confidence
These elements, structure, accountability, and frequent dopamine hits, make work feel rewarding, safe, and affirming.
Why Home Life Can Feel Less Compelling
In contrast, home life often lacks those motivating factors:
- Housework is never really ‘done’ and it’s boring
- There are no gold stars for making dinner
- Family members might take you and your efforts for granted (not in a mean way)
- There’s less external accountability (unless you are expecting guests)
Even though you love your family deeply, your time allocation might not reflect that, and this can lead to you feelingguilty.
The Shift: Make Home Life as Compelling as Work
Here’s the good news: it is possible to shift your focus, step away from work mode, and connect with life at home.
How?
By making home life feel just as engaging and rewarding as work.
A good way to begin is to start to create memorable moments.
Why Creating Memorable Moments Matters for ADHD Adults
Imagine sitting and watching TV every night for a year. When you look back, those evenings will blur into one.
But if one night, you decide to have a movie night where everyone votes on the film in advance, you make homemade pizza from a new recipe,
you’ve suddenly created something different.
Something worth remembering.
That experience stands out because:
- It breaks the routine
- It involves a bit of planning and anticipation, but not so much that it starts to feel overwhelming.
- It taps into novelty, connection, and fun
You’ll feel excited to wrap up your work day and get home. in a way you wouldn’t for a regular evening of TV watching.
All the ingredients that make a moment memorable are also the ones that support the ADHD brain in feeling engaged and happy.
It’s a win-win.
When you focus on creating memorable moments, you make home life more stimulating and meaningful for your ADHD brain—and strengthen your bond with the people you love.
What memory will you create next?
You have the power to make your home life as fulfilling and motivating as your work life. Start by choosing one memorable moment you are going to create this week.
Remember, small steps lead to big change 🙂
The post ADHD and How to Prioritize Family Time appeared first on Untapped Brilliance.
