Happiness: it’s the feeling we long to hold onto, and the goal so many of us set for ourselves. It’s how all good fairy stories and rom-coms end, and all those carefully-curated social media posts are striving to show it to the world as well. And if you don’t believe you’ve achieved that ‘happily ever after’ for yourself, it can lead to feelings of failure, and even despair.
Thursday 20 March 2025 is World Happiness Day – and ironically, the idea of happiness as a permanent state can make many people feel more miserable. The truth of it is that ‘happily ever after’ simply doesn’t exist. As humans, we’re not wired that way: happiness is not a permanent state. No one is happy all the time, and that is completely normal.
The idea that we should constantly feel happy is a myth, one that can actually make us feel worse when we inevitably experience sadness, frustration, or disappointment. We to have it all – we need the full spectrum of states for our wellbeing, and to live a truly fulfilling life.
Happiness Is Not Meant to Last Forever
One of the biggest misconceptions about happiness is that it’s a destination – something we can reach and then stay in forever. In reality, happiness is fleeting. Our brains are wired to return to a baseline after positive or negative experiences, a phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation. This is why even after something really big happens—getting a promotion, buying a new house, or even falling in love—the initial euphoria fades, and we settle back into our normal emotional state.
Instead of chasing happiness as a permanent condition, it’s more helpful (and healthy) to think of it as a series of small, meaningful moments we can experience in our daily lives. By shifting our focus to experiencing joy in the present, rather than striving for an unattainable constant high, we can create a more sustainable sense of contentment – and that’s going to bring you joy and happiness in itself.
Strategies for Creating Small Moments of Joy
While happiness may not be a permanent state, that doesn’t mean we can’t actively cultivate those little moments of joy in our daily lives. Here are some simple but effective ways to do so:
1. Practise Gratitude
Taking a few minutes each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for can help shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s already present in your life. Whether it’s appreciating a warm cup of tea, the scent of a garden first thing in the morning, a kind gesture from a friend, or a beautiful sunset, small moments of gratitude add up to a more positive outlook. Try it – it really does work.
2. Make Time for Activities That Bring You Pleasure
Joy often comes from doing things that make us feel good, whether that’s listening to music, reading, spending time in nature, or engaging in a creative hobby. Prioritising activities that bring you joy – even in small doses – can have a big impact on overall wellbeing.
3. Connect with Others
Meaningful relationships are one of the strongest predictors of happiness. Make time for loved ones, share laughter, and express appreciation for those around you. Even small interactions, like chatting with a neighbour, paying someone a compliment, or smiling at a stranger can enhance your mood.
4. Be Present
Often, we miss out on happiness because we’re too caught up in regrets about the past or worries about the future. Practising mindfulness – whether through meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to the present moment – can help us fully experience the joy that already exists in our daily lives.
Accepting Negative Emotions to Find Balance
If happiness isn’t a constant state, that means we must also accept and even welcome the more challenging emotions. Trying to fight against or suppress your sadness, anxiety, or frustration often backfires, making those feelings even stronger. Instead, accepting and processing them in a healthy way can bring you back to that more neutral emotional state more quickly, and lead to greater emotional resilience. Here’s how:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Rather than pushing negative emotions away, take a moment to recognise and name them. Saying, “I feel sad right now” or “I’m feeling anxious” can help you process those emotions rather than be overwhelmed by them.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel Without Judgment
It’s okay to have bad days. Everyone does. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling low, try offering yourself the same kindness and understanding you would a friend in a similar situation.
3. Find Healthy Ways to Cope
Engaging in activities that help you process emotions – such as journaling, exercise, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist – can prevent negative emotions from becoming overwhelming.
The Key to True Wellbeing
Happiness isn’t about eliminating negative emotions; it’s about embracing the full spectrum of human experience. By letting go of the expectation that we should always be happy, we can instead focus on creating joyful moments while also accepting and navigating life’s challenges with resilience.
Ultimately, a balanced emotional life – one that allows space for both happiness and hardship – is the key to true wellbeing. So as World Happiness Day comes around this month, rather than striving for never-ending happiness, why not aim for a life that’s rich, meaningful, and full of small, beautiful moments of joy?
The way to feel your healthiest emotionally – and ironically, your happiest – is to accept that life will always contain those ups and downs. Feeling them all is what makes us human.
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