Do you ever have that experience where you are trying to “catch up” with yourself? 

​There are a lot of physical and psychological techniques we can use to calm ourselves down after a stressful day. Some people find exercise, or just going for a walk, helpful. It “clears the mind.” Others may do yoga. Still others may do some deep breathing or mindfulness practices. Others may just take a nap. These are all healthy ways to unwind that are good and much better than alcohol or drugs that dulls the mind and heart, masks the stress and fails to restore your strength. Nevertheless, these healthy means of unwinding still fall short of the requirement of conscience. 

I recall a time when I attended a NBA basketball game. The noise level was so high, I could not think. The “requirement of interiority is all the more necessary as life often distracts us from any reflection, self-examination or introspection.” (1779). It took all the concentration I could muster just to make a decision about what I needed. I decided that I had to get out of the building. I told my companions, “I’m leaving.” I would not even wait for the elevator. I walked down four flights of steps as quickly as I could. Once outside, I texted my companions to reconnect with them, found a place to sit down, breathed, and waited. 

The decisions we make under stress, even after we have relaxed, are not an act of conscience because we have to be “present to ourselves” so we can “hear and follow the voice” of our conscience. Sometimes, when I begin to slow down and be present to myself, I am surprised at all the voices inside of me. 

Ann Garrido, in one of her reflections, suggested “occlumency” as a spiritual practice. This insight came to her during a retreat when she found it difficult to clear her mind of “all the voices.” It reminded her of Professor Dumbledore, who wanted to protect Harry Potter from Lord Voldemort’s “access to his head space.” In the wizarding world created by J.K. Rowling, “Legilimency” was the magical ability to access someone’s thoughts; “Occlumency” was the protection. 

This level of self-awareness is also found in modern business practices when leaders and managers carefully examine the information they are using to make business decisions. What data is relevant to our problem or opportunity? What is the source of that information? Are we taking all the relevant data into account? Do we have any beliefs – any assumptions – that might influence our understanding of the data and the conclusions drawn from that data? 

Chris Argyris (1923-2013), considered by many as the “father of organizational learning,” developed the Ladder of Inference as a conceptual model to explain how people make decisions and form beliefs. This model is a series of questions to identify assumptions and test for bias. 

In order to “hear and follow the voice of conscience,” we need to be present to ourselves, free of other voices, mindful of our assumptions and suspicious about bias. Remember taking tests in school? You needed to focus on the questions before you. You drew from your own ability to recall, and apply, the knowledge you learned. The teacher was there, but mostly to assure that students were staying on task and not cheating. 

Interiority is like that but with a big difference. With conscience, the teacher is Jesus who is there with you. You still need to do the work, but he is there loving you, encouraging you, and helping you to see and hear clearly. 

Pope Francis blessed the church with an extended catechesis on discernment during his General Audiences from August 31, 2022 to January 4, 2023. During his catechesis on December 21, 2022, Pope Francis stressed our discernment – our interiority – is never done alone. We bring to our conscience the Word of God, the teachings of the Church, our relationship with Jesus, the saints, our friendship with God, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and the graces we have received through the sacraments and prayer. We need to be present to ourselves in order to be alone with God. It is his voice, her breath, their music we strain to hear. 

The more we access our conscience – to be totally present to the moral quality of acts we have done, a choice we must make, or future choices – the more aligned we will be with God’s truth, mercy, and love. We will be free to be completely alive as the image of God we were created to be. 

Try it today. Take an hour. Turn off your phone. Let go of all those distractions that pollute your thoughts. Don’t fight them. Just let them go. Take five deep breaths praying. “Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me,” then, with the second breath, “Spirit of the Living God, melt me,” then “… mold me,” “… fill me,” and “… use me.” Start a conversation. “God, what good do you want me to do tomorrow?” Just listen. Lots of thoughts may emerge. Breathe. Ask the same question again. Some thoughts will fall away. Breathe. Ask the question again, and again, until you hear a still small voice whisper a word or two deep within your heart. 

The psalmist sang of the righteous; “the law of the LORD is his joy; and on his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:2) The righteous are “right” with themselves, others, and God. The law of the Lord is his voice, his way, and it is the source of our joy and our companion “day and night.” May we, too, be so blessed.